Who are you?

In an effort to revive my blog and cater to readers, I’d like to find out more about you.

That’s right, you.

The stats provided through Google Analytics help give me an idea of how you’re finding this blog, how long you’re staying and what not, but it doesn’t tell me a damn thing about you as a person.

Are you a mom? A dad?
Do you even have kids? If so, how old are they?
Are you married, divorced or neither?
If this is your first time here, what made you come here?
If you’ve been coming here regularly, what posts do you like and why?

Help me to understand who you are and why you’re here reading this.

Simply comment on this post. Anything you have to say will be REALLY helpful.

I’m going on vacation for 2 weeks starting tonight (all night Greyhound ride…blah) and may or may not have access to the Internet but regardless, when I get back, I will eagerly be checking back and responding to comments.

Buy me a coffee if you enjoyed this post

If you enjoyed this, I would really appreciate it if you shared this with others!

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You’re currently reading “Who are you?,” an entry on The New Dad

Published:: 07.26.08 / 4pm

Category:: Uncategorized

About

Like most young men, I once had a certain idealized picture of what adulthood, marriage and fatherhood would look like. It was based on images and ideas that we’re all force-fed as we grow up and I never questioned it…until it dawned on me that I was not going to live that imagined life.

I became the husband. I became the father. And then? Then three years ago, my marriage collapsed (have a look through the archives) and none of the ‘normal’ images fit anymore. It was confusing, enlightening, terrifying and liberating all at once. Ex-Wife and I chose the co-parenting route and came to terms with the strange cycle of being committed super-dad one week and childless bachelor the next.

Years after, I fell in love with a fantastic single-mom and we made a little blended family. I thought the comfort of univerally recognizable images would return… but they haven’t. And I don’t expect them to ever again. Good riddence.

I am part of a new generation of divorced fathers who don’t see themselves as fitting into the old paradigm. These next generation divorcees are not satisfied with being part-time dads that ‘visit’ their children instead of ‘parent’ them. New generation fathers have step-child(ren) and rail against the love-less step-dad stereotype by learning to understand, bond with and love their step-child(ren) like they do their own.

This blog is about helping this generation of divorced dads through sharing insights and experiences that we uncover along the way.

Now go get a beer and have a look through the posts here.

If you’re a ‘New Dad’ as well that wants to do some guest-posting, let me know.

Buy me a coffee if you enjoyed this post

If you enjoyed this, I would really appreciate it if you shared this with others!

john Lawton July 26, 2008

I am beth vissers dad…..I have enjoyed ur blog…..feel4ur struggle

Tom July 29, 2008

Hi John. I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying what I’m writing. It helps to know that people actually care about what I’m putting out there. Thanks for commenting, I appreciate it!

Dan August 7, 2008

Dad with a 5 year old daughter. Just starting to go down the path of divorce. First time here, just looking around trying to find reassurance that this my daughter and I will make it through this and be whole again someday.
Thanks for the blog, try to stay positive, I know it’s hard.

Tom August 15, 2008

I’d glad that my writing is appreicated

Yeah, after my last week at this retreat-styled…thing (which I’m sure I’ll post about soon), I’m reminded of the importance of staying positive if for any other reason, keeping sane!

Divorce and custody are maddness. I’ve been going thru this for 2 years now and I think, just maybe, it’s coming to some sort of conclusion. Maybe not the conclusion I want but a conclusion none the less. Even if things don’t work out 100% the way you want them to, as long as you believe the best interests were attended to (that is, that your daughter is relatively happy), your life will seem whole again. I’m already starting to feel that myself so I know that there must be more to come

Beth August 18, 2008

hey tom! you know me! lol!
I read because we don’t get to hang out anymore. Perhaps a move to Calgary (possibly) in the future will remedy that! and yeah, that’s my dad! lol!

The New Dad

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